The Magic of Therapy
A blog about the transformational power of psychotherapy and how it helps us blossom into the wholesome being we are.
Understanding Relationship OCD and how it relates to attachment trauma.
Brain image studies demonstrate that the same brain circuits that light up when infants interact with caregivers light up when we interact with adult romantic partners. Science has illustrated what we therapists have seen in our offices for years. This is why the intersection of attachment and trauma research is so crucial in the way we understand and heal our relationships with others and with ourselves. In this blog, I want to discuss relationship OCD as an attachment trauma response and provide some insights into understanding and healing.
How to manage dating anxiety when you have an anxious attachment style
When you have an anxious attachment, the novelty, discovery, and excitement of dating turn into a hot ball of uncertainty. You're constantly questioning your partner's intentions, the current status, and the relationship's future. You forget your own when focused on your partner's feelings and intentions. You need to reflect on how they make you feel, if their values align with your own, if their lifestyle is what you envision for yourself, etc. This heightened vigilance and concern with the other (primary caregiver in childhood and partner in adulthood) leave little room to focus and prioritize oneself. The fear of abandonment takes over; you analyze and overthink every interaction, which leaves you needing extra reassurance from your partner. Anxious attachment stresses the relationship, makes trust difficult, and causes frequent conflict.
Emotional Regulation & the Window of tolerance
The window of tolerance is a concept I find useful when assessing distress and helping clients understand what’s happening internally. The "window of tolerance" describes the optimal zone of arousal where an individual can function effectively. Within this window, we're able to think clearly, make rational decisions, and engage in healthy interpersonal relationships. The moment your feelings get too overwhelming, you’ve left the window of tolerance and things start to get ugly. This can manifest in various ways, such as heightened anxiety or emotional detachment.
Why Is Gen-Z Particularly Vulnerable to Anxiety?
Gen Z is made up of adults aged 18–26. When you think about the things this generation has been through and the daily pressures they face, it probably isn’t surprising to learn that they’re one of the most anxious generations.
What Type of Therapist Should I See for Anxiety?
Anxiety is a common mental health issue that affects millions of people worldwide. The National Institute of Health estimates that as many as 31% of US adults will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. It can manifest in various forms, such as panic attacks, phobias, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc. If you're struggling with anxiety, seeking help from a professional is crucial to manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life. But with so many types of therapists available, you might be wondering: "What type of therapist should I see for anxiety?" or "How do I find an anxiety therapist near me?" This blog post will guide you through the process and help you make an informed decision.
Seasonal Strains: The Impact of the Holidays on Emotional Trauma
The holiday season is regularly viewed as a time of happiness and joy. But, it’s not a cause for celebration for everyone. That’s especially true if you’ve experienced emotional trauma.
How Does Perfectionism Affect Relationships?
Perfectionism is often viewed as a good thing. While there are some positive aspects of wanting things to be “perfect,” it can often do more harm than good.
How to Stimulate Your Vagus Nerve and Reduce Stress
The vagus nerve is one of the longest and most important nerves in our body. Running from your brain to your digestive system, it plays a key role in regulating bodily processes.
How Open Dialogue Can Ease Relationship Anxiety
Anxiety can take many forms. Maybe you’re pretty calm and relaxed when it comes to most things, but your relationship is a huge source of fear and worry.
Why Is "Adulting" So Anxiety-Inducing?
We’ve all heard the phrase “adulting is hard,” and while it’s typically said in a light-hearted fashion, there’s a lot of truth to it.
How Perfectionists Can Learn to Delegate
Some people don’t think of perfectionism as a bad thing. But that’s typically because they think perfectionism means having high expectations and always striving for perfection.
4 Tips for Working Moms Struggling with Depression
There’s no question that being a working mom takes a lot of time and energy. It can be exhausting, and you’ll end up doing a lot of task-juggling. But, there will undoubtedly be times when you’ll feel overwhelmed.
How to Cope with Post-College Depression
College is widely regarded as some of the best years of your life. This first step into adulthood is a transformative experience. Making new friends, discovering new interests, and learning about your passions are all a part of the college experience.
Once you graduate, not only do you receive a diploma for all your hard work, but you will also have to change your lifestyle. It is a hard adjustment to enter “the real world.” Unless you plan on pursuing additional higher education, it is now time to leave being a student behind and enter adulthood. However, you are not alone if you are experiencing post-college depression.
What Does It Mean to Have High Functioning Anxiety?
“High functioning” is a phrase we’ve seen more of in recent years, particularly tied to anxiety and depression. High functioning anxiety isn’t actually a clinical anxiety disorder, so you may not find as much research on it. But that doesn’t mean it’s not something people are actually experiencing.
Mostly, we use it as a term to describe anyone who functions reasonably well in various areas of life despite having anxiety. Many often see this as a “type A” personality. For these people, anxiety is more a driver than a fear that holds them back. Their success stems from their anxiety pushing them to surpass every expectation—failure is not an option. In turn, this actually creates more internalized anxiety.
How Are Codependency and Narcissism Linked?
Typically, codependency and narcissism are thought of as opposites. This is because codependency is seen as an excess of selflessness. Meanwhile, narcissism is viewed as an excess of selfishness. However, there are a lot of similar traits. Some of the core symptoms of narcissism and codependency overlap. Learn how they’re intertwined and how to get help.
What Are Some Common Depression Triggers?
Many people across the nation are living with depression. The World Health Organization even quotes depression as one of the leading causes of disability worldwide. Depression doesn’t discriminate. Sometimes it happens even when someone has an objectively idyllic life.
Sometimes it’s triggered by a stressful or negative life event. For some, it may become a recurring trigger for future depressive episodes. Identifying triggers for your depression can help you become more aware of the signs of depression and can also be helpful if you’re living with someone who has depression.
What Should You Do If Current Events Bring Up Past Trauma?
Trauma is when we experience extreme emotional distress because of an event. People experience trauma and recover from it in different ways—it’s an experience unique to each individual. While coping with trauma can be a challenge, there are coping mechanisms you can use when you become triggered. Let’s talk about some strategies you can use if you become triggered.
Overcoming the Feeling “You’re Not Good Enough”
Feelings of inadequacy are part of being human. We sometimes feel that we’re unimportant. It’s important to acknowledge this insecurity so that you can overcome it. There are ways you can put a stop to intrusive thinking patterns like this. Let’s look at who’s likely to experience this, the causes, and how you can combat feeling like you’re not good enough.
Learn to Nurture Different Types of Intimacy in Your Life.
There are several types of intimacy. We usually associate the word “intimacy” with sex, and while that’s one version, but it’s not the entire picture. Many intimacy types are impactful in their own ways. Long-term relationships usually require support and acknowledgment of several kinds of intimacy to thrive. If you think you might have a fear of intimacy, consider reaching out to a therapist.
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and How does it work?
Over the last few years, CBT has also become one of the most popular types of treatment offered, but how do you know if it's right for you? An even better question yet, what exactly does CBT do?