Emotional Regulation & the Window of tolerance
What is the Window of Tolerance?
I figured I’d write an article about the window of tolerance. It is a concept I find useful when assessing distress and helping clients understand what’s happening internally. The "window of tolerance" is a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, a prominent psychiatrist, to describe the optimal zone of arousal where an individual can function effectively. Within this window, we're able to think clearly, make rational decisions, and engage in healthy interpersonal relationships. When you're within this window, you can cope with stress and challenges in a balanced and resilient manner. I explain this concept to my clients as the space where we’re able to think and feel at the same time. The moment your feelings get too overwhelming, you’ve left the window of tolerance and things start to get ugly. This can manifest in various ways, such as heightened anxiety or emotional detachment.
I got inspired to write this article in a recent session with a client who is struggling with a supervisor at work. Sadly, we spend most of our waking hours at work and job-related stress is a real concern for a lot of people, especially if you already have a pre-existing mental health condition or have gone through previous trauma. In the case of my client, she’s endured severe narcissistic abuse and the situation at work is highly triggering. As she described a series of events during one of her interactions with her supervisor, I used the window of tolerance to help her make sense of all the contradicting emotions that to her, felt very confusing. She experienced both, hyper and hypo arousal. She can become upset, lose her cool, and be combative. On other days she’s so exhausted that she automatically disanges, is unfaced, and dismissive. In both of these responses, she’s left her window of tolerance and her behaviors are congruent with Hyperarousal and Hypoarousal.
How do you know you’re emotionally dysregulated?
Hyperarousal: is what you experience on the top boundary of your window of tolerance. This state is characterized by heightened anxiety, agitation, or irritability. In this zone, it can be challenging to think clearly or respond to situations calmly. If you're struggling with these symptoms, an anxiety therapist in Miami can help you develop strategies to manage and reduce this heightened state. Our therapists have a variety of tools but what sets us apart as a practice is our understanding and training in trauma. In a case like the one that inspired this post, there’s so much more that goes into treatment than pure CBT or mindfulness tools. Don’t get me wrong, those are great and necessary but we are highly effective because we know how to take the bigger picture into account and use those techniques more strategically.
Hypoarousal: On the flip side, if you fall outside the lower boundary, you may experience hypoarousal. This state can be marked by feelings of numbness, disconnection, or low energy. You might find it hard to engage with your surroundings or emotions. Therapists in Miami often work with clients to help them recognize and address these feelings, guiding them back into emotional regulation. Everyone has experienced periods of such high stress that we feel like or actually “give up”. However, when we constantly cycle between high and low emotional states to the point where we may even experience depression, we should seek the help of a professional. Sometimes, we just need help managing depression, yet if there’s a constant rollercoaster of emotions, you’re most likely dealing with the aftermath of trauma. In this case, you’re better off working with a trauma-informed therapist.
How can a psychotherapist in Miami, FL help?
Treatment depends on how a therapist Miami, FL conceptualizes a case. If you’re presenting with simple depression or anxiety treatment is more straightforward and mostly CBT, ACT & mindfulness tools can be useful. On the other hand, if you are experiencing these symptoms but also have a history of trauma, things get a bit more complex and we have to triage what areas of functioning are affected and how. For the most part, yes, we use the same CBT, ACT, and mindfulness tools but also techniques from EMDR, IFS, somatic experiencing, and other interventions geared towards trauma. The biggest value of working with a trauma-informed therapist, Miami FL comes from knowing how to put it all into context. Here are some recommendations for affect regulation:
Preventive self-care to regulate emotions: As a general rule, I tell my clients, that emotional learning is very similar to any other type of learning, repetition is key. You’re more likely to remain calm and collected during a meeting if you’ve been consistently practicing meditation, exercising, and carving some time for reflection daily. This sounds simple but people who are used to their nervous system being on high alert for a very long time, really struggle with slowing down & prioritizing their mental health. I’ll frequently educate and remind you to access and improve your self-care. I’ll also challenge you pretty hard every time you have your superhero cape on trying to convince me (and yourself) that you’re ok and you can handle hard things. I have no doubts you can, however, it doesn’t mean you should. That’s another consequence of trauma, we become extremely desensitized, failing to see how if we continue to get ourselves into difficult situations we don’t give ourselves a true chance to heal.
Real-time solutions to react appropriately at the moment: During your work with a therapist in Miami, FL you will also work on skills to help you manage stressors in real-time. We provide our clients with DBT tools to help them with distress tolerance and interpersonal skills. We use mindfulness to help them understand and recognize their physical response, identify triggers, set boundaries, and have the vocabulary to describe their experience and communicate it effectively. We discuss some of these skills in more details in another post.
Big picture changes to regulate emotions: We at Psych Blossom, adopt a big picture mentality when working with clients. This means we’re intentionally accessing and addressing different areas of functioning, work, relationships, self-actualization, self-acceptance, etc. We also encourage and model curiosity and empathy during all our sessions. These traits help transform your most important relationship, the one you have with yourself. Being kind to ourselves is the foundation of all other relationships in our lives, it sets the tone for how others treat you and for how you treat them.
Reach out to us if you’re ready to start your journey of self-discovery and healing. Maybe, you’ve been in therapy before but want to try someone different. Our clients stay for a long time and engage in deep, meaningful work, we can help you, too. It’s rewarding to see our clients overcome fears, break patterns, fulfill their potential, and keep loving relationships. Please fill out the form below; our intake coordinator will happily get you started today.
