Life Transitions Are Scary – It's Okay to Be Afraid
Change is a part of life. And with so many changes, there is transition involved as well. That change from parenting minor children to launching them into adulthood requires a significant transition. And that is just one example. Know this: life transitions can be scary. It's okay to be afraid.
We tend to look at fear as a bad thing in every situation. It is actually not. Fear is a built-in defense mechanism that, among other things, encourages caution. Being afraid of a pending life transition can be good in the sense that it might prevent making unwise decisions. The key is to not allow your life or your decisions to be dominated by fear.
You are afraid of what your new life might be like once your kids are grown and gone. Or maybe you are preparing to transition to a new job that seems completely foreign to you. You are afraid of how you're going to perform alongside your colleagues. Again, this is all natural.
3 Reasons Transition Can Be Scary
The mind is a complex thing. Your mind reacts a certain way to life transitions while someone else might react differently. There is no right or wrong here; we are all wired a little bit differently. That being the case, there are three primary reasons that life transitions can be scary:
Fear of the Unknown – Oftentimes, significant life changes bring with them new experiences. Those experiences constitute the unknown. Guess what? It is normal to be afraid of the unknown.
Added Stress – Some of life's biggest transitions have stress built-in. Getting married, raising kids, and dealing with a long-term illness are all stressful. With that stress comes fear and anxiety.
Lack of Preparation – Some life transitions we have plenty of time to prepare for. Others come at us unexpectedly. Those unexpected transitions offer plenty of opportunity for additional stress and facing the unknown.
Here's betting you have experienced all three 'fear factors' at some point in your life. Pat yourself on the back. You made it through. When future life transitions come your way, know that you already have experience that can help you to some extent.
It's Okay to Ask for Help
It wouldn't be right to conclude this post just talking about life transitions and the fear that comes along with them. There is another side to this discussion: asking for help. Knowing that asking for help is just as okay as feeling afraid.
Both in-person and online therapy can help tremendously in the midst of a life transition. How so? First of all, just being able to talk with somebody can help reduce anxiety. Second, you and your therapist can work together to make the transition as easy as possible.
Therapy can be combined with some basic self-care principles to help you manage stress, reduce anxiety, and approach that life transition from a positive standpoint. This is not to say that going through the transition will be all sunshine and roses; it is simply to say it doesn't have to be driven by fear.
A Few Basic Tips
In closing, there are a few basic tips for addressing life transitions:
Prepare, when possible
Stick to your routine
Take things as slowly as you can
Acknowledge the reality of your transition
Accept help and support from others.
Life transitions are part of the package. We all experience them throughout our lifetimes. If the biggest of life transitions tend to make you feel afraid, know that it's normal and okay. Do not be afraid to reach out for professional help, either. After all, we are all in this together.
