Unraveling the Difference: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Guilt
We don’t always think of guilt as a good thing. But, healthy guilt is completely natural and normal. It’s appropriate to feel guilty when you’ve done something you know is wrong. You can tap into that healthy guilt as a sort of moral compass, or a learning tool that keeps you from doing the same wrong thing again.
The downside of guilt is that it can sometimes go from healthy to unhealthy.
While it’s normal to feel bad about your wrongdoings, it’s not healthy or okay to feel excessive guilt about something. Unhealthy guilt can also create a misplaced sense of responsibility where you place all of the blame for a problem on yourself.
Unhealthy guilt can create a myriad of issues. It can affect your overall quality of life and make it difficult to move forward.
Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to spot the differences between healthy and unhealthy guilt. Understanding how different they are and how much they can impact you will make it easier to let go of misplaced guilt.
The Benefits of Healthy Guilt
Healthy guilt serves a purpose. When you do something wrong, the guilt you feel encourages you to make it right. Not only will that help you be the kind of person you want to be, but it will also benefit your relationships.
Healthy guilt allows us to admit we’re wrong. It encourages us to be sincere in our apologies and fix things when we can. When you’ve made amends or an appropriate amount of time has passed, you should be able to let go of your guilt and move forward. An appropriate level of guilt is likely to keep you from making the same mistakes.
The Damage of Unhealthy Guilt
If you find that you’re unable to let go of your guilt, or the amount of guilt you feel doesn’t match the wrong that was done, you’re dealing with unhealthy guilt. It can be detrimental to your well-being and your future.
You should always take responsibility for your actions — even the negative ones. But, unhealthy guilt tends to make you think you should be accountable for things out of your control. Accidents happen. Bad things happen. That doesn’t automatically mean you’re the one to blame. Unfortunately, when you’re dealing with unhealthy guilt, you’re likely to hold onto those feelings and take responsibility, blaming yourself even if what happened was out of your control.
Unhealthy guilt also occurs when everyone else has moved on from the wrongdoing, but you can’t seem to. Maybe you’re still punishing yourself or refusing to forgive yourself, even when others have. When you struggle with frequent excessive guilt, there’s typically a form of trauma associated with this behavior. It’s critical to explore the purpose guilt has served in your past and how to adopt healthier ways of coping.
Some of the risks associated with unhealthy guilt include symptoms of anxiety and depression. You might feel the need to punish yourself, and your self-esteem is likely to suffer. Because of all the stress you put on your shoulders, you can also suffer physical issues like aches and pains or stomach problems.
What Can You Do?
Understanding the differences between healthy and unhealthy guilt is a good first step if you’re trying to overcome your negative feelings. When you recognize that you’re holding onto guilt unnecessarily or your feelings of guilt are negatively impacting your life, it’s time to get the help you deserve.
Therapy is often the best way to deal with unhealthy guilt. Your therapist can work with you to uncover the real root cause of your guilt. From there, you can together to forgive yourself and move to the next chapter of your life. Search for a depression therapist near me or an anxiety therapist near me. You can also contact us. All our therapists are licensed, have years of experience, are trauma-informed, and trained in modalities that make it easier to get to the root of self-defeating behaviors such as excessive guilt.
If you feel like you’re struggling with unhealthy guilt, it’s time to stop punishing yourself. Feel free to contact us to set up an appointment.
