Breaking Free: Recognizing the Signs of Psychologically Abuse and Finding a Way Out
Psychological abuse can be insidiously quiet. It doesn’t have the same marks that physical abuse does because involves verbal and social attacks in an effort to control someone. The abuser may try to control who their partner can and cannot see and be around and may use hurtful abusive language.
Abusers who use these psychological tactics often break down their partner’s self-esteem or attack their self-worth. This creates a psychological dependency on the abuser, which then gives the abuser even more control.
Recognizing the signs of psychological abuse is the first step to resolving the issue, or escaping it.
Recognizing Signs of Psychological Abuse
Psychological abuse can develop over time. It’s not always present at the beginning of a relationship. The shift in behavior causes feelings of confusion, embarrassment, and shock. It’s important to understand that you are not at fault as a victim.
If you grew up around abuse, some of these behaviors may be difficult to identify as abusive. The defining trait of any domestic abuse is what the abuser gains. Abusers want to gain and keep power and have control over you. These signals may include:
Insulting you or your worth
Expressing anger in a way designed to elicit fright
Making claims of exclusivity, either for your body or your time
Threatening to harm you, themselves, or others when they’re upset
Deciding what you can wear or eat
Publicly humiliating you
Refusing to listen or acknowledge your thoughts and opinions
Questioning how you remember certain events (gaslighting)
Treating you as if you and your needs are unimportant
Using affection as leverage, intentionally rejecting you to cause pain
Becoming jealous when you talk to the opposite sex
Attempting to make you feel jealous
Denying an event ever happened (gaslighting)
Accusing you of being disrespectful for trying to talk things through
Escaping Abusive Relationships
If you or a loved one are a victim of emotional, psychological, or domestic abuse, seek help.
Be brave: You may hesitate, and this is normal. You might fear that no one will believe you or feel ashamed that you’re reaching out. This is an essential step toward regaining your independence.
Understand what’s at stake: The effect that emotional and psychological abuse can have on you, your children, and your loved ones is staggering. These forms of abuse can, and often do, escalate into physical violence.
Find an advocate: There are local domestic violence programs all over the country. Many of them offer free counseling and support groups. They can help you find other support systems.
Know your options: Domestic violence is defined differently from state to state. In some states, an abuser’s behavior can qualify you for a restraining order.
Accept the help: It’s hard accepting help. Especially after surviving an abuser who convinced you that you’re unworthy. You deserve a good and happy life. Places like domestic violence shelters can help you find representation so you can leave safely.
Recovering From a Toxic Relationship
Keeping yourself safe from your abuser is a top priority once you’ve escaped. You might need to consider relocation or changing your children’s school. Most importantly, once you’ve left, stay gone!
Change your usernames and passwords: If there is any chance that your abuser had access to this information, change it as soon as possible. They can use the internet to harm you if they can’t get to in person.
Mix up your routine: An abuser who knew your every move might look for you where they think you’re most likely to be. Take a different route to work, reschedule any appointments they might have known about, and find new places to shop.
Prioritize your mental health: The psychological effects of mental abuse are real and scarring. It takes time to process that you’ve survived. Consider reaching out to a therapist if you’re going through or are a survivor of domestic abuse.
Seeking therapy is difficult and often discouraged by abusive partners. However, it is a critical component in healing during and especially post break-up. We’re here to help you get back to your authentic self and trust again!
