Is There a Right or Wrong Way to Cope with Grief and Loss?
Grief and loss are part of the human experience. The thing is that people deal with them in different ways. If the way you cope with grief and loss doesn't fit what others think it should look like, you may find yourself questioning whether you are 'doing it right'. Well, you can take comfort in the fact that there is no right or wrong way to cope with grief and loss.
Some people are generally more emotional than others. Some individuals are emotional about certain things but not about others. And some show very little emotion even when things are particularly rough. It is all okay. It's all good. As long as a person processes grief and loss in a way that's healthy, what it actually looks like doesn't matter so much.
Common Misconceptions About Grief
Perhaps one of the reasons people feel like they may not be grieving the right way has to do with our cultural misconceptions about grief itself. The misconceptions are many and varied. For example, how many of us believe that not crying over loss means you are not really grieving?
Crying is one emotional response to grief. But there are others as well. You can feel deep emotional pain and loss and never shed a tear over it. That's okay. Crying is not a prerequisite to genuine grief.
Here are some other common misconceptions:
Showing emotions of grief proves you are weak
It's better to remain strong and brave during times of loss
The maximum amount of time you should grieve is one year
If you ignore your grief long enough, the pain will subside on its own.
Our misconceptions about grief and loss can lead us to do some very unhealthy things. That's why it's so important to seek out help if you are struggling with intense grief that seems to consume you.
Embrace the Grieving Process
As mentioned earlier, people process grief and loss in different ways. The key is embracing the grieving process regardless of what it looks like. Embracing it starts with accepting the reality of whatever loss you are experiencing. Ignoring or pretending the loss doesn't exist will only prolong your grief.
Your loss might involve:
The death of a loved one
The end of a marriage or romantic relationship
Loss of a job you have had for years
A loss of financial security.
The possibilities are virtually endless. Regardless of the source of your grief, know that how you grieve will be somewhat unique to you. You may display thoughts and emotions similar to other people you know, but there will also be parts of your grieving process that you haven't observed in others.
Grief Can Trigger Other Things
Also know that grief and loss can trigger other things. In other words, grief can set off a cascade of thoughts and emotions that can lead to things like insomnia, anxiety, etc. This cascading effect is normal. But again, this is where seeking help becomes important.
Look for support in willing family members and friends. If necessary, reach out to a professional who offers grief counseling. Make a point of taking care of yourself physically, as well. Good physical health will help you maintain good mental health even while you grieve.
Grief and loss are part of being human. We all experience them in different ways. As a result, we also process grief and loss differently. Rest assured that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Do not beat yourself up because your grief doesn't look like someone else's.
