Essential Codependency Reads: The Best Books to Gain Understanding

Codependency isn’t always easy to understand. It’s something that can take time to unpack and unravel, especially if you’ve been codependent for a while, or you’re trying to better understand codependent relationships you’ve dealt with in the past. 

While working with a mental health professional is often the best way to break down codependency and learn how to overcome it, that doesn’t mean you can’t educate and empower yourself on your own time, too. 

There are plenty of powerful reads available that can help you gain a better understanding of codependency. Let’s cover a few essential books that will give you a head start.

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives

This popular book by Pia Mellody has sold over 400,000 copies for a good reason. It breaks down codependency in a simple framework that’s easy to understand. Mellody focuses on the major symptoms of codependency adults face. She takes the approach that codependency often stems from an injured childhood, and this book offers insight into how you can heal from those past experiences while letting go of the toxic emotions that could be impacting your relationships now. 

Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You

If you know that codependency has been a problem for you, you also know fighting back against it can feel like a constant uphill battle. This book by Darlene Lancer breaks down the process of finding freedom from codependency into eight steps. 

Not only does this book help you break free from codependency, but it is designed to help you discover your true self. You’ll learn who you were meant to be and how to become that person with time. 

You’re Not Crazy–You’re Codependent: What Everyone Affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma or Toxic Shaming Must Know to Have Peace in Their Lives

Codependency can come with a host of negative feelings. You might struggle with guilt, shame, anger, or even wonder if you’re somehow “crazy” because of your feelings. 

This book is designed to help you build your life after codependency. It takes a gentle, loving approach to remind you that you don’t have to let things like people-pleasing, anger, depression, and fear of abandonment control your life forever. You are more than your codependent condition. 

The Codependency Recovery Plan: A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle

Codependency can be difficult to understand, especially if you aren’t sure where yours stems from. This book by Krystal Mazzola features an easy-to-follow guide that breaks down what codependency actually looks like. It also covers what factors could influence its development in your life. 

In addition to helping you understand and accept your own codependency struggles, Mazzola makes it easy to start breaking the cycle by offering a variety of chapter exercises you can do on your own. This book can change your entire perspective on codependency while helping you boost your self-esteem and build healthier relationships. 

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

This book by Melody Beattie has become a truly life-changing experience for so many people dealing with codependency. What’s unique about this book is that it offers real-world stories and experiences from people who have struggled with codependency. It can help you realize that you’re not alone while understanding the ins and outs of what it means to be codependent. 

The book also features practical exercises and advice to help you break free from the hold codependency can have on your life. 

There are plenty of books about codependency out there. Getting started can feel overwhelming, and that’s the last thing you need. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help with couples therapy or relationship counseling. But take the time to soak up as much information as you can on your own, with meaningful reads that offer actionable advice.